oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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