Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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