idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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