I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
