I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
