all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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