She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
