Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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