woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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