Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
