just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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