I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
