Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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