even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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