I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
