Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
