Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
