Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
