she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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