Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
