I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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