Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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