Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
