Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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