The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
