Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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