problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
