why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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