There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
