Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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