Having a random hookup so left but love u
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
