just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
bring money and cleavage
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
