All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
