i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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