i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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