Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
