The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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