we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I can't turn off my feet"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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