summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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