I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
