I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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