Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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