i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
