I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
