I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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