and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
