You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
