I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
