im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
