Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
